YUUVRAJ, the latest astrologically correct movie to roll out of the Subhash Ghai stable is an epic movie in itself, and Subhash Ghai needs to be thoroughly commended for his effort. When I say epic I mean epic disaster. I never knew anyone who has gone to such lengths to prove the importance of a story.
He has gotten an exciting star cast: the most happening pair in the Bollywood, namely Salman Khan and Katrina, the charming Anil Kapoor who is making a successful return to mainstream movies, Zayed Khan (new improved Version 2.0 from ‘Main Hoon Na’ onwards), and Mithunda, who is again becoming a common place in movies. He shot the movie in the best and most scenic locations in Austria, Czech Republic and the UK, and the most expensive palatial structures (call them chateaus, Castles, Palaces or Manors, etc) that money can buy have been commissioned for the indoor shootings. He also succeeded in roping in some of the geniuses of the Bollywood to weave their magic, A.R Rehman and Shaimak Davar being just a few examples to prove my point. So, in essence, the movie had all the hallmarks of a great success story in the making, except that there is no story in the first place.
Why Subhash Ghai decided to make a movie out of nothing is a mystery that I am yet to solve. But what has been proved beyond doubt is the fact that although Bollywood has taken huge strides in the last couple of decades, with its body strutting heroines, sleek action sequences and over the top movie budgets; we audiences are lagging behind as we still expect a decent storyline in the movie, without which we don’t appreciate the rest. I won’t ridicule the director for not shooting the movie in India, for shooting in India is becoming more and more taboo in Bollywood, god only knows why!!! But, from when has a decent story become unrealistic expectations from a director? From the looks of Krazzy 4, Tashaan, and now this movie it certainly looks like we are hitting new lows this year.
Anyways, for some details, the wafer thin storyline runs thus; Salman, a chorus singer, wants to marry Katrina, the lead Cello performer of the Orchestra. She happens to be the only daughter of an extremely wealthy doctor, Bomman Irani (who lives in a castle with Picassos and Rembrandts adoring the walls!!!! From when have doctors started living like the Mittals and Ambanis I am not sure). But, Katrina would only marry Salman if her father agrees to their marriage. As in every typical Hindi movie her father is completely against the marriage. Suddenly, we are told that Salman is the son of one of the richest Indian businessman in UK, and has been kicked out of the family for falling out with his father over his mentally challenged elder brother. On learning about his father’s demise Salman decides to claim his inheritance and signs a pact with Katrina’s father promising to become a billionaire in 40 days, failing which the latter is free to marry his daughter elsewhere.
As the clock starts ticking, Salman learns from the Lawyer, Mithunda, that his father has bequeathed most of the property to the eldest son, the mentally challenged but musically gifted Anil Kapoor. The rest of the family, which includes his younger brother, Zayed Khan, and a couple of relatives receive trivial sums of money. So, he schemes with the Casino trotting Zayed Khan to get hold of the money. As part of the plan he takes Anil with him to Austria to get into his good books. Somehow Katrina ends up there from Czech, the lead singer of their upcoming grand show disappears, and Anil is requested to take that place much to the dislike of Salman. And in a sequence of illogical and random scenes the scheming brothers begin to appreciate their elder brother and finally understand the meaning of being a family. The final touch is the poisoning of Anil Kapoor before the show by the relatives and his being saved by Salman. And as with all Indian movies the story (if there was one) ends on a happy note.
If you started getting the idea that the story of mentally challenged brother getting the property, and his scheming brother taking him away, sounds familiar then you are very right. This part is a loose, but cheap, adaptation of the unforgettable movie ‘The Rain man’. Where Dustin Hoffman delivers an Oscar award winning performance, Anil Kapoor looks confused. More often than not he looks completely normal and it would leave you wondering if he really is a mentally challenged person. Salman Khan looks OK for most part but I don’t understand why directors are adamant about shooting him in a crying scene. He gets completely undone and is pathetic to watch. This guy just can’t cry... Katrina surprisingly doles out a more than decent performance. The others are just passable.
To sum up the experience: Its like going to the most expensive fine-dining restaurant in the country and ordering the reputed Chef’s special secret dish only to realise that it is a stale McDonalds cheese burger served in a silver platter and decorated with exotic salads and fruits. Imagine the shock and horror that you would experience!!!!
To the prospective audiences I would only say one thing – Don’t watch the movie, not even on home video, and you will live happily ever after.
Rating: I can’t rate such a dull and lacklustre movie, coz the story is of paramount importance to me. Everything else comes after that.
2 comments:
Mmmmm..It’s an Interesting review, you are no less than a professional film critic and I feel you should try your hand on as a professional columnist
Cheers!!
Anil
You certainly beat me to it, and kicked my ass at that! Have to commend a well-rounded review. I believe that Salman is always made to cry to provide some comic relief..they obviously dont expect him to really cry and convince us.
My two more cents (not on the review): in view of saving the environment id suggest you make notes on your comp instead of wasting tissue papers for such long notes
-sail
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